Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize