this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
they're like a gay fantastic four
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
