I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
this boner is exhausting
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
