I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I am available for nakedness
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
