He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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