It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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