Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
