Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
