I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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