I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
