hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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