Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
