K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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