there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize