This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
