my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
