out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
