What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
