Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
