haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
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I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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