I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize