My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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