I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
