oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
