He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
