She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
