Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
