Dual....:-)
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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