Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
