how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
