Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What a dumb baby whore.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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