sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
