So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize