where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
