I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
