question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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