STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
