good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
