I'm going to jail i love you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
