fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
