You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize