nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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