marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
