My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize