ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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