i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
