he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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