So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
only you would photoshop your dick
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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