white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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