I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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