I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
