Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
