I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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