At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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