Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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