Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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