Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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