He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
