I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
