the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize