just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
