The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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