i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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