First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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