Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
